I thought I had it down and this was going to be easy for…but there were a few surprises.
Initially my thoughts were to have one or two bridesmaids, at most. Perrino had the more difficult task as he had to choose between four men; none more important than the other. After a few days of contemplating, he decided that he couldn’t choose and wanted all four to be part of our big day. It wasn’t the plan but I had no problem with it.
After a sorting out an issue with a friend who was suppose to be my maid-of-honour, I decided that it would be a good idea to choose to two bridesmaids from my side of the family and two of from his. I knew exactly who I was going to ask, as we are more boys than girls in our family (cousin wise) and Perrino’s sisters are older than him (he is a very “laat lammetjie”) but he has a niece that is a year older than me and his nephew who is engaged to be married in September this year has been in a relationship for more than years and we all consider her family already.
Perrino and I chose a strict family-only wedding party for many reasons but the main one being that it represented our two families becoming one.
We then have Lize’ and Robyn. Lize is our little one and Robyn is my youngest female cousin but more like a niece to me. We made them junior bridesmaids.
Our flower girls are kids of one of our bridesmaids and groomsmen.
The ring bearer is Aiden, Robyn’s brother and our show stopper/ miniature ring bearer is Rosco (1 year old).
So bring on the wedding…or at least so I thought.
It’s 3 weeks to my wedding 2 of my cousins pull out due to finances. WTH! They were suppose to travel from Cape Town and due to unforeseen circumstances, cannot attend the wedding. Due to short notice, they have kindly given me the dresses money, so that I can choose two other bridesmaids without having to ask the “new” bridesmaids to cover the dress.
So I am currently sitting with 2 options. Either find to other bridesmaids or move the junior bridesmaids and just make them bridesmaids. There is no easy option. I can already think one bridesmaid to replace but have no idea of the second could be. With the second option, the two junior bridesmaids are 12 and the groomsmen range between 21 and 31. In fact their “partners” would be my brothers (21 and 31 year old). That is not going to look good, in my opinion.
Here are some lessons that I learnt from choosing my bridal party:
- Do not choose someone who is getting married close to your date. (They may sincerely think that they will make it, but don’t always realise the cost of a wedding.)
- Do not choose someone who has been asked to be a bridesmaid in a wedding that is close to your date. (They may sincerely think that they can afford it but when push comes to shove they and they can’t…it might be your wedding that they withdraw from.)
- If your bridesmaids are paying for their dresses, ask them for the deposit. (This shows commitment from their side. It also provides the bridesmaid with a reality check…this is going to cost money.
- Discuss your selection with your partner. (As much as you would like “whoever” to be part of your day, your partner is the most important person. If they do not feel comfortable with that person rather don’t ask him/her. Remember that your bridal party will be around you constantly on your big day.
- If you do choose out-of-towners to be part of you day, try not to make him/her the best man or maid of honour. I asked Perrino’s niece, although being a wedding planner, I knew I would need little help. I knew that if I did need help, I would need someone close by. I went back and fourth for days as she isn’t one I grew up with, but in all honesty…I haven’t looked back. She has given me the least grief and always there for fittings. She is so reliable and ready to be called upon…she is exactly what I needed in a maid of honour.
Well, I hope you learn from my mistakes. If you’re busy planning your wedding…Good luck!